Let’s be honest: how good are you at remembering names, birthdays, or other details? Or keeping in regular touch with friends, acquaintances, and family? If you’re like me, you’ve probably been caught off guard when a friend’s birthday suddenly arrives, even though you’ve been invited to their past celebrations. Or you think of friends from your study abroad year and want to reach out without it feeling “awkward.”
I’ve developed a simple method to help me regularly and authentically maintain my personal contacts—without it feeling forced or coming with a hidden agenda.
Why I Keep in Touch—and Why You Should Too
It’s not about wanting something from my contacts. For me, staying in touch feels weird when there’s always a hidden agenda. Instead, it’s about fulfilling a social need because we live more and more in a digital world and meet less in person. For those of us who are digitally inclined, it’s especially hard to step out of the digital bubble and nurture real-life connections.
So, what do I do? I use my Contacts App as a personal CRM (= Customer Relationship Management) solution to keep track of my important relationships. The app allows me to store contact details, birthdays, and other key information to make staying in touch easier with friends and family.
Why Not Use Social Media?
Some people rely on social media to keep up with their contacts, but I find social media distracting. Instead of just reaching out to someone, I waste hours scrolling through feeds. The truly important things—calling someone or making plans—end up getting lost in the mix.
How I Use the Contacts App as a CRM
What do I do exactly? I enter the birthdays of my most important contacts into the app and link them to my calendar so that I get timely reminders. On birthdays, I first send a simple text message, and a few days later, I call to chat and catch up on how the past year has gone.
I apply the same approach during holidays or significant events. These occasions are great excuses to call, have a real conversation, and find out what’s been happening in each other’s lives.
When possible, I also arrange visits. I either visit friends or invite them over, which is a great way to deepen the relationship. If the person lives in a cool city, this can even double as a mini vacation.
The Notes Feature of the Contacts App as a Memory Aid
A particularly useful feature of the contacts app is the notes section. Here, I save interesting info about my contacts—whether it’s a concert we could attend together, birthday gift ideas, or even food preferences. This is especially handy when I’m hosting, as I can ensure I prepare something they truly enjoy.
Who Should You Add to Your “CRM”?
Of course, I don’t go through this effort for everyone. I focus on the people whose relationships bring me joy. This is key because there’s no point in investing time in relationships you don’t value or that are toxic.
Conclusion: A Simple but Effective Tool for Your Most Important Relationships
Since we’re all getting busier and our attention is often drawn to social media, this method is a great way to ensure you don’t lose touch with the people who matter. By using your contacts app as a personal CRM, you can regularly nurture your relationships and enjoy quality offline time—away from the digital noise.
It may seem simple, but sometimes the simplest tools are the most effective for maintaining meaningful, real-world relationships.
Checklist:
- Choose only the contacts that are truly important to you.
- Add birthdays of your contacts and link them to your calendar.
- Send a birthday message, and call some days later later for a relaxed conversation.
- Use the notes feature for gift ideas, activities, or preferences.
- Plan visits to deepen relationships.
- Prioritize personal communication over social media.
- Focus on relationships that bring you joy, and avoid toxic ones.